core difference #20

The wife and I are, obviously, different. That being said I'd like to point out another of those differences to you. The one person who is reading this. (thanks by the way)

So, the Boy jumps off the bench from the dinner table again. This isn't unusual. He does it all the time. And each time he does, we tell him not to. This time he jumps off wearing only socks on his feet. Actually, it wasn't a jump really. He slipped and fell forward more than anything. So when he landed, he did so flat on his face. Now to understand this Boy, you need to know that he's just like me. He's a wimp. When things hurt, he lets you know. So, when he landed, there was a loud thump and then a blood curdling scream, that just kept going. Me, being the closest one, got up to asses the damage. He just laid there, face down, screaming. I did my "tired of this show" sigh and lifted him up. That's when I noticed the drops of dark red blood on my white tile floor.

This is now an urgent matter, no longer a "get an ice pack to put on the phantom injury". I decide to cup my hand under his chin to collect the blood and walk him to the bathroom. There I will rinse/wipe him off and asses the real damage that has been done. Here comes the core difference between the Wife and I.

Ready?

While I'm walking Mr. Bloody Face to the bathroom attempting to calm him down with my sage fatherly words... she yells for the Girl to get the dog out so he won't lick up the blood from the floor. Me... I could give a rip about the dog at that moment. If the dog were to jump up on the dinner table and finish my spaghetti right then, I don't think I would have minded. She, on the other hand has this overwhelming need to get the dog out. She gets the dog out and then proceeds to clean the blood. And then she comes in to see what has happened to her sweet baby boy. As I'm showing her what I think the damage is, she asks if he wants me or her to take him to the hospital. And wouldn't you know it? He says, "I want momma." I'm the one taking care of him. I'm the one with his blood and spit all over my hand and arm. I'm the one comforting him. And what thanks do I get? Give the baby a bath, put he and his sister to bed, and clean up dinner. Boo.

baseball

Can I really call them the "glory days" when they weren't that glorious? I liked playing baseball. Some seasons, I actually loved it. But because I was never really that good can they be "glory days"?

And now that the boy is playing all I'm going to want to do is start back up myself. I wonder if I could hit anything over 55mph? Looks like a batting cage trip is in the works!

mysharp

I can't create an account because the computer thinks I'm already logged in. But I'm not because it's not my account, it's the wife's. So, the computer thinks I am my wife. How is this convenient?! CRAP!

my kid throws everything

That's it. Simple enough. He just throws everything when he's in is highchair.

lunch date

So, because it was on her calendar it was supposed to happen. Right.

little league

Nathan is about to start his first Little League season next month. As I'm getting excited about this, it has come to my attention that, apparently, the kids don't share batting helmets anymore. When I asked Wife why that was, she responded with, Head Lice. My first reaction was unbelief. And cue flashback...

When I was playing baseball as a wee lad in Poway, the thought never occurred to any of us to purchase our own batting helmet. The only thing on our minds was to try and find the least sweaty one. Not the one  without little lice bugs crawling around in it. And for that matter, when did sharing a drink, or sandwich, or even a piece of gum with your friend become outlawed? 

I will admit that I did some pretty gross things as a kid, but I don't currently have any of the Hep alphabet, nor have I ever even had a cold sore. Am I some super human immune person? Certainly not. Have you seen my medical record folder from Kaiser? It's bigger than War And Peace! I was hurt all the time as a kid. Broken bones, skinned knees, I have an older brother for pete's sake. We didn't get head lice growing up. I'm not sure if I even knew if any of my friends had it. Did it not exist in the 80's? Pretty sure it did. Head lice isn't one of those things that just materializes out of nowhere. So, why now are we purchasing separate equipment for our kids? Why are we telling them to not drink from the same cup? Okay, I get why you shouldn't share gum. That's just gross. But hey, I was a kid. I did stupid things. Kid things. Jumping off the bridge into a bamboo forrest wasn't the brightest. Neither was sliding down the huge hill on a piece of cardboard, with no way to stop, unless you count the fence at the bottom of the hill. That hurt. But it was fun. I digress.

So, now I've gotta buy an extra helmet, that isn't going to fit him next year. Crap.    

what have i gotten myself into?

Made up words that don't appeal to me: Blog, Webinar, ianything,